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Ruth of Truth- The Whippet Media

Dog Groomer Monthly Horoscope

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Dog Groomer Monthly Horoscope

Dog Groomers of the world,

What I say is true,

I’m astrological in every way.

If you want to know what is right,

Then take on-board, you’re in for a fright.

Of course you can just scroll on by,

I don’t care go fuck your life.


Monthly Horoscope

Charity starts at home and I guess if you are going to let your clients dictate when you work, then you are going to get walked over. 

Grow some balls tell that little old biddy her dog is the devil and you wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole.

Get rid of the serial non brusher’s and send them to that new grooming  bitch down the road.


Monthly Horoscope

Oh, you have a hard time paying your bills?  Please tell me how that works, when you live at home and pay for nothing because you’re too busy dreaming about what you want to do with your life.

Reality check- get off your fat arse and go groom some dogs.

Monthly Horoscope

Good things come to those who wait, but not you, you’re too much like that bull in a china shop. I hope you have enough money to pay for the carnage you create.  It’s a good job you’re cheerful as people won’t see all the shit created behind the scenes. 

Just sweep it up buttercup, hair gets stuck in your throat.


Monthly Horoscope

You’re so high on lavender scent and kennel no 5 that your shit sparkles, but I bet it doesn’t smell like roses. Be careful when you follow the Masses, as sometimes the ‘M’ is silent. 

 When following the masses trust only the people with big butts. They cannot lie.


Monthly Horoscope

You haven’t lost your mind, half of it wandered off and the other half has gone looking for it. You are like 2 people, should you really be grooming when your mind is elsewhere, or is that just because you forgot to take your schizophrenia medication.  

Everyone loves a Gemini, so I’m told, but you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.


Monthly Horoscope

If you didn’t see it with your eyes or hear it with your own ears don’t invent it with your small mind or share it with your big mouth. Don’t take this too much to heart, I know how sensitive you are.

 Words can’t hurt you but Sharp scissors can, so be careful.


Monthly Horoscope

This is all about you, no one else. The spotlight is on you. Roll out the red carpet and let all your followers know that you have entered the salon. Seriously though, I don’t have the energy to shit butterflies and piss rainbows for you, your day will come for me to sing your praises.

 I’m sure until then bask in the knowledge your clients are your biggest


Monthly Horoscope

It amazes me how flexible you are, how do you get your fist in your mouth and your head up your arse all at the same time? I guess you have been perfecting this your whole life.

Dog grooming is the perfect role for you, practically perfect except when it comes to finishing, it’s just not good enough.


Monthly Horoscope

If you ever get caught sleeping at work just slowly raise your head and say “amen”. You are very charming but that won’t hide the fact how lazy you are. If there is a quick method for doing things then you are right there at the front of the queue, just wait until it all backfires, then what?

 Remember a dog has to look the same from each side.


Monthly Horoscope

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, no one likes an arrogant person unless they want to talk about you behind your back. They‘re probably jealous for the fact that you are nice but you can always hit the instant bitch button.  

Your obsession with scissors is just too much to comprehend.


Monthly Horoscope

Your ass must be so jealous about how much shit comes out of your mouth, where did you learn all this knowledge from? You’re a walking encyclopaedia for everything dog and grooming related, but seriously you need a speed bump between your brain and your mouth just to give everyone a break. 

Silence is the new noisey.


Monthly Horoscope

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough, just remember that when you want to be on your own.  Your smart mouth always gets you in trouble, if it’s not your mouth then it’s your facial expressions.

It’s a good job dogs can’t talk otherwise there would be trouble.


Peace out…… bitches!

Ruth Of Truth.

Dog Groomers Monthly Horoscope Sept 2020

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