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It’s fair to say grooming is a lot like being a mum. You have a tiny creature who relies on you to take care of them, you love them, you wash them and you clean up their poo.
I’m slightly late to the whole ‘Mrs Hinch’ party, and unlike most people I read the book before seeing her cleaning hacks taking over social media. The book is my bathroom reading, and I read over it when I’m trying to get some peace away from the hustle and bustle of family life.
We don’t have a cleaner, Ryan and I share the duties, although I’m more of the deep cleaner while Ryan will hide things in cupboards so it looks clean rather than tidy things away.
I had a rare day off and thought to myself right.. Im Hinching my house!
Rubber gloves on, music full blast, Theodore at school, Hubby to be firmly at work. By the time I had finished, the house was cleaner than a priest on Sunday.
So onwards to the school run and bi weekly Jiu Jitsu class. Martial arts class is crucial to our weekly routine, it means that someone bigger, louder and has much more authority than me can discipline my child for me while also tearing down his energy levels to give us a guaranteed quiet evening.
It also ensures that tantrums and back chat are kept to a minimum, and Theodore is quieter too…
This particular evening Theodore was awarded a well deserved belt stripe which he took absolute pride in showing his grandparents, aunties uncles and godparents via Facetime.
Im gloating, my child is a pure genius, he is disciplined and has worked super hard, we had a celebratory chippy tea, bath and bed.
I go to my quiet place to indulge in some well deserved bathroom reading. But wait. What is that smell. I mean I know I’m in the bathroom but this is something else. What is that on the wall? I answer my own question before I’ve finished asking it. Its poo, its clearly poo.
The irony of it was too much for me to handle. I’m a groomer, I get it I pick up poo, an unhealthy amount, but I had just finished cleaning, why!? How?! 10 minutes ago we were celebrating his fantastic achievement and now my bathroom is dirtier than a whores underwear.